Posts Tagged caregiver

Looking for the Open Door

September 23rd, 2011 | Author: Katelyn Turner

This blog post was written by Joanna Murray. Read more…

COPD and Stubbornness

February 11th, 2011 | Author: Katelyn Turner

This blog post was written by Joanna Murray, who lost her mother to COPD last year.

When you talk about my mom and COPD, the first thing that comes to mind for me is her stubbornness.  Sometimes we forget how much control we have in our own lives.  All those little things tend to be a huge component of who we are.  As the years went by and my mom had been diagnosed with COPD – and although our family knew – my Mom only told us what she wanted us to know. I think as a child we don’t want to think about a parent being sick and we only ask what we really want to know.  My mom took such good care of me, I thought, “Why would I second-guess that she would not take good care of herself?”

Growing up, my Mom was always in control and always made the decisions.  Like most kids, I never questioned her.  She was strong-willed, controlling, and the older she got the more control she sought- sometimes to the point of annoyance.  My brother and sisters and I learned to tolerate it.  My mom was her own person and she did not have a problem letting everyone know that.

The last few years of her life were the years that stood out for me the most.  I had grown up and I came to accept her and all her quirks.  I realized for the first time she was her own person and she had always lived her life by her own specific desires.  Sometimes I sat shaking my head in disbelief. She would look right at me and say, “Because I can and do not question me.”

Joanna and her mother

The last years of her life – I remember as if it was yesterday – it became very difficult.  She would clean my house or take care of my kids to be helpful.  I started noticing her slowing down and the difficulties in her breathing started to happen more frequently.   Every time I started to question her, she would brush my concerns aside.  As time passed, it became more of a challenge for her to climb up my stairs.  Whenever we went shopping, she would need to push the shopping cart and stop periodically to catch her breath.  She needed to be leaning on something so she could she gasp for her breath.

I always saw my mom as this tough, old woman who at times could be such a bear to be around.  When she was with my kids I saw her for who she truly was.  She had such a way with my children she touched their hearts.  In those last years, I had gained such a respect for her.

When she moved in with me that last month of her life I didn’t know what to expect, and didn’t want to lose what I had recently built with her.  It took so long for both us to have this new relationship.  She saw me in a different light and I saw her differently as well.  That last month was so hard at times.  The first few weeks she fought me on everything.

It’s hard to know what exactly was going through her mind during this time, but I know that we became very close and I cherished the new friendship that we had forged. All I can do is speak for myself, and I can say as a grandmother goes, she was amazing.  My children and I miss that special time they shared with her.

The “Sandwich” Stage

January 7th, 2011 | Author: Katelyn Turner

This blog post was written by Joanna Murray, who lost her mother to COPD last year. Read more…

COPD and Caregivers

August 2nd, 2010 | Author: Katelyn Turner

What comes to mind when you hear the word caregiver? Read more…